Blog #10 Laura Journal
December 1, 1931
I thought about a lot of things when I go on my walks. I think how my world is very limited. I only go to the park so my mother doesn't become aware of the fact that I dropped out of business school. When I walk in the park, I fear that people will say something to me. I think about what they are thinking. When they see me walk the way I do.
December 2, 1931
Tom and Mother got into another fight. But more importantly Tom almost broke my glass menagerie. I remember it clearly. My heart skipped a beat, and my eyes immediately turned to my unicorn glass piece. If he ever broke, I think I would die. Glass is very fragile, and you need to be very careful when you are around it. I keep reminding Tom how important my collection is to me, but I think he gets consumed in his own rage sometimes. I wish this wasn't the case. Later he stormed out saying he was going to the movies again.
December 3, 1931
Tom came home drunk last night. My mother, and him had a big argument about where he goes when he leaves us. He says he goes to the movies, but I’m not so sure of this. Neither is mother. Sometimes I don’t understand why Tom is the way he is. Mother only wants the best for him, and we love him. I wished he would stop smoking. I see how much it upsets mother.
December 4, 1931
Mother came to me all excited about a possible gentlemen caller for me. She keeps trying to push me towards marriage, but I am not comfortable meeting a man. I had pleurosis, and it left me with a terrible limp. I feel no one will ever love me. She told me the gentlemen's name was Jim O’Connor, and my stomach dropped. I felt as if I was going to pass out. This feeling was very similar to the one I had when Tom almost broke my glass. I had known Jim back in high school, and always had a thing for him. Even back then I was afraid to approach him. Now I no longer want a gentlemen caller. I never did.
December 5, 1931
Jim came over tonight. I was so nervous. When I opened the door there he was. Still as good looking as I remembered him being in high school. My mind raced back on how I was too shy to ever approach him, but now there he was. 2 feet in front of me. Before dinner I fainted in front of him. My mother had to play it off by saying I was feeling under the weather. My mother advertised me to Jim all night. Jim eventually came over to talk to me. He tried so hard to get me to open up. I eventually did open up. I danced with him. When we were dancing he broke my favorite piece of glass. But I didn't care. I had never danced in my entire life. It felt crazy. I was still so nervous, but I started to fall in love with him when we kissed. This was my first kiss ever. I didn't know how to react. I felt so hopeful that we would be able to share a future together. But then he told me hopefully this experience will change my life forever. I wasn't sure what he meant, but then when he told me he was married. I became depressed. I ended up giving him the broken unicorn as something for him to remember me by. This is when mother entered. He told mother that he was getting married, then left. Mother became angry again at Tom for bringing a married man home for me. Tom left in anger that night, and didn’t come back in the morning.
December 6, 1931
It is the day after Tom left. Mother is worried sick. She keeps asking me "What are we going to do now?" but I feel like I am the one who should be asking her this. Mother has become infuriated with Tom for bringing home Jim. She thinks Tom already knew that he was married. I don't think this was the case, but I am a little mad at him for leaving me. I feel like if he took me with him to wherever he went I could have grown as a person. Jim really made me confident in myself, but everyday I stay with mother I feel that confidence disappearing.
December 25, 1931
It is Christmas time, and Tom has now been gone for 20 days. I am still living home with mother. I tried so hard to break out of my shell. Jim tried to change my life for the better, but he couldn’t physically be part of it. I will never forget that night I had with him. I never built up the courage to leave by myself. I would have no one to support me. Maybe if Tom were to take me wherever he went, I would go. But that was back then, and this is now. I feel I have become more dependent on mother. Mother hopes she can get by without his support, but it’s been rough. I don't know how much longer she can provide for us.
I thought about a lot of things when I go on my walks. I think how my world is very limited. I only go to the park so my mother doesn't become aware of the fact that I dropped out of business school. When I walk in the park, I fear that people will say something to me. I think about what they are thinking. When they see me walk the way I do.
December 2, 1931
Tom and Mother got into another fight. But more importantly Tom almost broke my glass menagerie. I remember it clearly. My heart skipped a beat, and my eyes immediately turned to my unicorn glass piece. If he ever broke, I think I would die. Glass is very fragile, and you need to be very careful when you are around it. I keep reminding Tom how important my collection is to me, but I think he gets consumed in his own rage sometimes. I wish this wasn't the case. Later he stormed out saying he was going to the movies again.
December 3, 1931
Tom came home drunk last night. My mother, and him had a big argument about where he goes when he leaves us. He says he goes to the movies, but I’m not so sure of this. Neither is mother. Sometimes I don’t understand why Tom is the way he is. Mother only wants the best for him, and we love him. I wished he would stop smoking. I see how much it upsets mother.
December 4, 1931
Mother came to me all excited about a possible gentlemen caller for me. She keeps trying to push me towards marriage, but I am not comfortable meeting a man. I had pleurosis, and it left me with a terrible limp. I feel no one will ever love me. She told me the gentlemen's name was Jim O’Connor, and my stomach dropped. I felt as if I was going to pass out. This feeling was very similar to the one I had when Tom almost broke my glass. I had known Jim back in high school, and always had a thing for him. Even back then I was afraid to approach him. Now I no longer want a gentlemen caller. I never did.
December 5, 1931
Jim came over tonight. I was so nervous. When I opened the door there he was. Still as good looking as I remembered him being in high school. My mind raced back on how I was too shy to ever approach him, but now there he was. 2 feet in front of me. Before dinner I fainted in front of him. My mother had to play it off by saying I was feeling under the weather. My mother advertised me to Jim all night. Jim eventually came over to talk to me. He tried so hard to get me to open up. I eventually did open up. I danced with him. When we were dancing he broke my favorite piece of glass. But I didn't care. I had never danced in my entire life. It felt crazy. I was still so nervous, but I started to fall in love with him when we kissed. This was my first kiss ever. I didn't know how to react. I felt so hopeful that we would be able to share a future together. But then he told me hopefully this experience will change my life forever. I wasn't sure what he meant, but then when he told me he was married. I became depressed. I ended up giving him the broken unicorn as something for him to remember me by. This is when mother entered. He told mother that he was getting married, then left. Mother became angry again at Tom for bringing a married man home for me. Tom left in anger that night, and didn’t come back in the morning.
December 6, 1931
It is the day after Tom left. Mother is worried sick. She keeps asking me "What are we going to do now?" but I feel like I am the one who should be asking her this. Mother has become infuriated with Tom for bringing home Jim. She thinks Tom already knew that he was married. I don't think this was the case, but I am a little mad at him for leaving me. I feel like if he took me with him to wherever he went I could have grown as a person. Jim really made me confident in myself, but everyday I stay with mother I feel that confidence disappearing.
December 25, 1931
It is Christmas time, and Tom has now been gone for 20 days. I am still living home with mother. I tried so hard to break out of my shell. Jim tried to change my life for the better, but he couldn’t physically be part of it. I will never forget that night I had with him. I never built up the courage to leave by myself. I would have no one to support me. Maybe if Tom were to take me wherever he went, I would go. But that was back then, and this is now. I feel I have become more dependent on mother. Mother hopes she can get by without his support, but it’s been rough. I don't know how much longer she can provide for us.
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